Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
