i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
