How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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