I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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