mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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