Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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