Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

im drinking this country out of the recession.

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(914): View more from New York

You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.

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(623): View more from Arizona

My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them

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(775): View more from Nevada

A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!

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(616): View more from Michigan

Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.

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(760): View more from California

I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?

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(406): View more from Montana

I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.

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(206): View more from Washington

you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested

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