She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
