Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
