I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
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