everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Found the puke drawer
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
