how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
