I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
