Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize