You're so nebulous sometimes
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
