I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
