I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
