I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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