Plan B is the new Plan A
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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