She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Why is your signature on my underwear?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
