I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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