KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
