Have you finally orgasmed yet?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
