You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
