Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
