I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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