Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
