I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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