Yo dont text me then not text me
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
