so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize