Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
