i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
