I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
