I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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