Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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