then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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