That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize