i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
