Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize