I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
