I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
where are my eyebrows?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
