I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
wow bdsm is so cute
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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