so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
