Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
