You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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