your room smells of hookers.
And success
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
