C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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