I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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