my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
