you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
