I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
