the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
