i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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