operation harelip BJ is a go
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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