Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize