you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Randomize
