did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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